Pet Peeves of a Crusty Catholic
Let me start by saying that I don’t consider myself much a holy person. I can sin with the best of them, but just recently certain things about Catholicism have really irked me.
Some of these annoyances are obvious, some are not.
1. Folks who leave after communion. Do diners leave before dessert?
2. The “C & E” (Christmas and Easter) crowd. The regulars scramble for seats on those two feasts. Do you recognize any of the fresh faces dolled up for the holiday? It’s great to come out and celebrate. It helps the collection, too. I don’t mind regulars who are bringing family members with them. But there are 50 other weeks of the year. Do the C & E not pray for the rest of the year and forget God?
3. People with colds who cough and sneeze throughout Mass who insist on shaking your hand during the “kiss of peace.” I welcome your Christian love, but keep your Christian cold.
4. Sacramental wine. Yes, there’s a nice person wiping the chalice, but backwash remains. I won’t go near it. I notice young people taking a sip. Should communicants under 21 drink it?
5. Young kids who don’t behave in church. Nothing irritates more when you’re sitting in Mass when a child kicks your bench repeatedly, breathes on our neck, or talks, not whispers, through most of the ceremony. It’s not cute. I love kids, my wife and I have two; but why can’t a parent quietly admonish the child.?
6. Families who come to church like it’s a camping trip. Believe me, families going to church is beautiful. A few clans empty out the nursery with stuffed animals, books, games, toys, and food. No one wants to kneel and step on Cheerios on the floor.
7. Crying children. On this issue, one of our former pastors said, “If little Oswald is crying, he’s telling you he would like to go outside.” Comfort Oswald. Give him a tour of the church grounds. Thank you.
When our kids were small, my wife and I went to different Masses.
8. I’m sick of the media continuing to kick the Catholic Church. The number of abusive priests pales against the overwhelming number of priests who have served the faithful over the decades. Let’s hear it for those good priests we’ve known and cherished.
9. The abuse crisis evolved from poor leadership. I bet most of us lost faith in the leadership, not in their Catholic faith.
10. Long and depressing sermons. This is a no-brainer. We all know that the world is a tough place, and that daily life is a chore. I look forward to Sunday Mass as a haven, a break from life’s hardship. I want to sit reflect and seek comfort.
Keep it simple. Jokes and anecdotes can be effective.
Fire-and-brimstone sermons should be outlawed. Don’t tell me how about problems in the Middle East and other hotspots. I do read the newspaper and watch the news.
If I’m tired and I can’t stay with the homily, my mind drifts. I’ll start thinking about trades that the Red Sox should make or what’s coming up in the week.
I look to Sunday Mass for a lift from the darkness and pray that God’s grace will shed a ray of hope.
Okay, I know, three Hail Marys for my penance.